If I could turn back time

I would go back about 5 months.

and from there, I would try to figure out what I did or said that must have been so bad that it hurt my friends feelings. We havent talked much since about that timeframe, and it hurts to feel that loss.

I really had no idea what was going on, why we havent been talking, until I talked to someone else today.. who didnt tell me a thing really, but I still 'got' that I did or said something... sigh

I have wracked my brain all day trying to figure it out. I have cried off and on all day over the fact that I hurt someone and didnt even know it..and still dont know how.. and Ive gone through all kinds of emotions that surely come naturally when you are... what?... grieving the loss of a friendship? feeling sorry but not sure exactly what for?

should I be posting this online for all the world to see? Maybe not. but maybe if someone reads this along the way, it might help..
maybe itll help me..

to think about this the next time someone hurts my feelings.. do they even know they did it? am i willing to sacrifice a friendship on the off chance that they do know? what if they dont?

ugh. what to do now? Im not one that likes confrontation.. and I dont even think thats the word I want.. I dont want to confront someone in an angry sort of way. I just want to know what I did to make this happen.. and to apologize if I hurt her somehow. So, do I call her? write a letter? talk to her in person? the chicken/scared/nervous/baby part of me wants the easy way out.
the adult in me says to just call and get it out in the open.

i hate being an adult sometimes.